No, no…I’m not pregnant, but I thought I would share some of my thoughts about having a baby. I’ve been thinking a lot about this…especially after a conversation I had with my boss. She asked me if Curtis and I plan on having children. “Of course,” I said. “When do you want to have kids,” she asked. I replied by telling her that I would love to have a baby NOW. I think it caught her a bit off guard. Her advice to me was to wait until after we are done with school. She said to me, “As a woman and having had children, I hope you don’t have to go through a pregnancy while in school.” I politely thanked her for her advice and went to my office.
When Curtis and I moved up here to Laramie, I had no plans or even any desire to have a baby. It’s funny how things change. After living here for only about 4 or 5 months, Curtis and I started talking about us having a baby. The thought of me getting pregnant didn’t seem quite so scary anymore. At this point, it was only talk….”what if” and “should we” and “what do you think” kind of stuff. Since then, life has thrown us many twists and turns.
In January of last year (6 months after moving to Laramie), we were in our horrible car accident. To say the least, we are both very lucky to be alive. The thought of losing Curtis terrifies me. When I think back on our accident and realize just how lucky and blessed we are to both be alive, my heart fills with gratitude and thankfulness. It was pretty much right after our car accident that Curtis and I felt that we didn’t want to put off having a family any longer. We realized how precious life is and what really is important….family. So, it was at this moment in our lives we decided to try for a baby….of course after we recovered:)
Then, September of last year (9 month after our accident), my brother Shane passed away following a heart attack. He was only 33. I was heart broken and couldn’t believe what had happened. It is still hard for me to really understand that he is gone. Sometimes I find myself thinking that I will see him again when we go back to Utah. The death of my brother really changed my life. It helped to put things into perspective for me and I started looking deeper at the meaning of my own life. I realized again just how precious life is and what is really important in life. This experience only increased my desire to start a family. Life is simply too precious to put on hold… for any amount of time.
So…what are my thoughts on having a baby?? Absolutely, positively I would LOVE to have a baby. I’ve learned that in life, family is what matters and I’m ready to begin the journey of having a family of my own. After a year of trying, we haven’t gotten our hopes up yet. Hopefully sometime soon we’ll have a little Curtis or Jenny Jr to show off:)
Hi Jen!
ReplyDeleteI hope you guys are blessed with a baby very soon- I am sorry you are having to wait so long! I know the wait isn't fun at all...we are thinking of you guys and wish you the best :)
Have you enjoyed being able to watch American Idol again???
Oh Jenny! I have just loved reading through all your blog posts! I am finding that we have so much in common! I wish that we would have hung out more in K-town. Your thoughts on having a baby made me cry, you have been through so much in just one year! Without a doubt you have came through stronger and with an outlook on life that I envy.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure you know, but we adopted our Zannah Mae. I was unsure how or when or if we would ever have a baby and it is still unreal that she is here. Your future baby is so lucky because you want him/her so much!
Marcus and I were talking and we should totally meet in Denver this summer and go to a concert at Red Rock! He has an aunt there that we go and visit and you guys aren't too far away, right??
--Lynsey
You girls are so sweet! Thanks for your sweet comments and for being such great friends. You guys brought tears to my eyes.
ReplyDeleteJana- I think of you all the time and how long you had to wait before Luke came along. It is fun to see you and Ike with your 2 sweet boys! And yes, I am loving watching American Idol! I can't get enough:)
Lynsey- We should totally get together this summer. We are only 2 hours away from Denver. It would be really good to see you guys. Zannah is such a beautiful baby and she is lucky to have such great parents.
I love how open you are about your life. It is really interesting the twists and turns of life. The more time that goes by the more I realize how much we are not in charge. The Lord truly has a plan for us.
ReplyDeleteMy sister Angie and her husband waited a long time until they got there twins. I love your perspective about the importance of family. You will be a GREAT mom someday.
Hey Jen,
ReplyDeleteIt is true having babies while in school IS hard, but I don't think i would put it on hold. That was me and derek theory. If it happen .. it happen, we didn't stop it. I don't know if you knew this, elijah was born in 2000 and derek got his degree in 2002. I started back in the fall of 2002, had jordyn in july 2003 I graduated June of 2004 and had quenton in august 2004. It had its hard moments but I wouldn't change it for the world....
YOU guys are going to be great parents when the time comes and will come :)
~kristy
Ps. I love your pictures on the blog.
I have to comment because I have been through the same thing you are going through right now. It took me 3 1/2 years to get pregnant with Kaden. I took two home pregnancy tests but couldn't believe it so I went to the hospital to have a blood test. When I called to get the results and found out I actually was pregnant I couldn't stop crying. I remember Geoff just stood there not knowing if I was sad or happy. Then it took me 7 months to get pregnant with Kaylee. Now I am baby hungry again but since we aren't on insurance and I have such hard pregnancies we have to wait to try again. I thought I would have four kids by now.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear about your brother. You have been through a lot lately. My bishops wife was telling me how she has had two miscarriages both at 5 months along and had a son die in a high school football game. She said that her trials have made her who she is today and she is an amazing lady.
I am sorry you have had to go through so much lately. I hope you get your baby soon. I will keep you in my prayers.